So true. What I notice is that if politeness overwhelms the needs of the moment, my honesty then leaks out in other less desirable ways… Far better to be straight up about things.
I can’t say I ever bother spending too long with people who can’t be bothered to be polite.On the other hand there are times when rules, codes and conventions smother truth and honesty; not that people cannot challenge one another without losing the respect that politeness can be a distorted and dishonest mimicry of.
I think it was Jerry Garcia who said, “A true friend is one who will tell you when you’re out of line.”
I agree, politeness is definitely not to be forfeited.
I don’t find selfishness desirable company either.
You know that moment when you desperately want to hear what the other person really thinks/feels? but they won’t because they think you don’t want to hear it, so they keep the facade up for YOUR benefit – but, all it does is leave you stuck and un-growing. (sorry, probably a poor example – there are so many hypotheticals I could throw at the ‘for and against’ politeness convo).
“You know that moment when you desperately want to hear what the other person really thinks/feels? but they won’t”
It’s a kind of lying by proxy. That’s why we developed the forms of words “the truth THE WHOLE TRUTH and nothing but the truth”.
I have known quite a few of such folk. One stands out in particular. In the long run it sucks any real communication out of the relationship and I hold them at more and more of a distance.
.hartland. 
So true. What I notice is that if politeness overwhelms the needs of the moment, my honesty then leaks out in other less desirable ways… Far better to be straight up about things.
Michael
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I have found the same thing Michael 🙂
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I can’t say I ever bother spending too long with people who can’t be bothered to be polite.On the other hand there are times when rules, codes and conventions smother truth and honesty; not that people cannot challenge one another without losing the respect that politeness can be a distorted and dishonest mimicry of.
I think it was Jerry Garcia who said, “A true friend is one who will tell you when you’re out of line.”
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I agree, politeness is definitely not to be forfeited.
I don’t find selfishness desirable company either.
You know that moment when you desperately want to hear what the other person really thinks/feels? but they won’t because they think you don’t want to hear it, so they keep the facade up for YOUR benefit – but, all it does is leave you stuck and un-growing. (sorry, probably a poor example – there are so many hypotheticals I could throw at the ‘for and against’ politeness convo).
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“You know that moment when you desperately want to hear what the other person really thinks/feels? but they won’t”
It’s a kind of lying by proxy. That’s why we developed the forms of words “the truth THE WHOLE TRUTH and nothing but the truth”.
I have known quite a few of such folk. One stands out in particular. In the long run it sucks any real communication out of the relationship and I hold them at more and more of a distance.
LikeLiked by 1 person