So true.
It takes practice to recognise that ‘moment’ of suppression – it amazes me how much of an enigma we are, even to ourselves. It keeps us interesting – and interested, I suppose 😉
Again, I agree wholeheartedly with what you said above. Sometimes suppression is deliberate and other times it’s unconscious – such as with substance abuse and denial – sometimes it is active and other times it’s a defence. Thank goodness for ‘the questions’! 🙂 They keep me going…
Church is a tricky topic isn’t it? Some of my best ‘growing’ was done in the years I was in Church. But I must admit, at the same time, I also took a more ‘passive’ approach to my own life in a way… so I think I hear what you are saying vincenzo.
Yes, Kelly, Church can be an amazing place of growth where grace abounds, but so agonizing when it falls into legalism and dead religion. My greatest challenge with Church right now is how so much of it is structured for extraverts.
In so many congregations we no longer have worship services but rock concerts. Leaders are chosen for their charisma or financial status and not their wisdom. Preaching has become a bunch of entertaining stories with little depth. Church members circulate tired generic scripts without learning to express truth with individuality.
Yes. Something needs to shift. It’s a tough place to be – on the pendulum swing of the next extreme. And to have a sensitive spirit to these out of balance nuances, in this type of environment, can feel like an assault – especially if you’re discerning.
I took to visiting a little church every so often – it had accidental silences; as well as deliberate silences. It was like rest to my spirit. I could actually ‘hear’.
I aught to visit that church again; I suppose it’s about finding somewhere that resonates with our own expression perhaps?
Yes, indeed, it all amounts to finding somewhere that resonates with our own expression. Unfortunately, the churches I have visited thus far seem to conform to one set standard with little variance… *sigh* Maybe I just have to do some more searching…
I am still relatively new to WordPress, so I don’t get many notifications for the latest posts, other than from Vincenzo who posts almost daily, and a few others who post less often.
So, while eating my cabbage (and other vegetables) soup, I wanted to read, and I clicked on “Reader”, winding up here.
It has been interesting reading your discussion about “church”.
I put “church” in quotations, for I believe that the church is the believers. The way it has become institutionalized is not something that seems proper to me, according to my understanding of Scripture.
I have finished my soup now, though, so am out of time to say much more. Just please know that your conversation was appreciated to this one reader at least, and I suspect that maybe we are on a similar wavelength, the three of us, as far as our hearts for the body of Christ.
Me too brave.
I read this precious little book by Kim McMillen called ‘When I loved myself enough’ (I buy up copies when I find them to give away). In this book she said ‘When I loved myself enough – I learned to grieve for the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.’
And another page says ‘ When I loved myself enough – I learned to stop what I am doing, even for a moment, and comfort the part of me that is sacred.’ I LOVE this book!
I hope you can find it! It’s an Australian book, and I’ve found it hard to find. The publisher is PAN (pan Macmillan Australia) ISBN 0 330 36312 3
I really hope this helps – because it is a book worthy of being read.
Hi Steeny. That’s a sad post 😦
Yeah, I think a lot of us blog for that purpose.
Why do you stop yourself from writing music? Art is a great way to deal with pain, I believe, because it gives it a purpose – life is hard enough without feeling like it has some purpose. Being able to turn the crap into gold 😉
Often artists do feel life deeply.
I was just sharing with ‘bravesmartbold’ in the previous comment, about a very special little book and some of the wisdom within it. I hope you will read what I quoted from it – and I hope it touches you the same way that it touched me.
And thanks for sharing this post on your blog. 🙂
Oh! I just saw this reply now. I don’t recall having seen a notification to let me know about it. Maybe I failed to check the “notify me of followup comments” box.
I write many things down, but sometimes the depression is so deep, I don’t even want to write. And for me, it’s got to be pretty bad to get to that point, as I live to write.
I got your comments in my inbox, Kelly. Glad you got a laugh, and thanks for deleting all my messed-up attempts at posting a reply and a link.
On another note, I’m wondering if you’ve been getting a lot of spam on this post, as I’ve gotten quite a bit where I re-blogged it. Here I wrote about it:
Hi Steeny. I just checked out my spam queue, and there’s none related to ‘Shut down’. I got a bit of a giggle reading through some of them – you’ve got admire some of their approaches 🙂
I could prolly go through your site forever. These are great insights. Your language is simple–yet weighty. Reminds me of the Tao de Ching a little–but less esoteric.
It sure does Alarna. It’s a tough gig being human!
Sometimes life can hurt at the most inappropriate, inconvenient, time. That’s when we sometimes need to make a ‘date’ with ourselves later; to feel.
I had this weird experience once, that has changed things for me since. I thought I had a strategy for when those unexplainable, powerful, overwhelming, emotions visit. I would journal, or write an aphorism – basically, confront it. This time though, I ‘sat’ with it. I didn’t name it, I didn’t head talk through it – I just ‘felt’ it. The most surprising thing happened – the emotions… dissipated.
And I thought to myself ‘I have been running from this ‘thing’ for how many years now?!’
Wow. That’s has power. I remember reading recently on a blog about meditation, and how it can at first have the effect of making you feel quite ill at easy physically. The advice was to just acknowledge the pain until it goes away. There’s seems to be some sense to that…
.hartland. 
Very true! You don’t get to choose what you suppress…the good goes right out with the bad 😉
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So true.
It takes practice to recognise that ‘moment’ of suppression – it amazes me how much of an enigma we are, even to ourselves. It keeps us interesting – and interested, I suppose 😉
LikeLike
Again, I agree wholeheartedly with what you said above. Sometimes suppression is deliberate and other times it’s unconscious – such as with substance abuse and denial – sometimes it is active and other times it’s a defence. Thank goodness for ‘the questions’! 🙂 They keep me going…
LikeLike
Yep, for sure! I’ve visited those places.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments, I appreciate it.
Gotta love ‘the questions’! 😀
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yes, it’s not just about self-talk here, but also staying away from repressive environments… some churches for example
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Church is a tricky topic isn’t it? Some of my best ‘growing’ was done in the years I was in Church. But I must admit, at the same time, I also took a more ‘passive’ approach to my own life in a way… so I think I hear what you are saying vincenzo.
LikeLike
Yes, Kelly, Church can be an amazing place of growth where grace abounds, but so agonizing when it falls into legalism and dead religion. My greatest challenge with Church right now is how so much of it is structured for extraverts.
In so many congregations we no longer have worship services but rock concerts. Leaders are chosen for their charisma or financial status and not their wisdom. Preaching has become a bunch of entertaining stories with little depth. Church members circulate tired generic scripts without learning to express truth with individuality.
LikeLike
Yes. Something needs to shift. It’s a tough place to be – on the pendulum swing of the next extreme. And to have a sensitive spirit to these out of balance nuances, in this type of environment, can feel like an assault – especially if you’re discerning.
I took to visiting a little church every so often – it had accidental silences; as well as deliberate silences. It was like rest to my spirit. I could actually ‘hear’.
I aught to visit that church again; I suppose it’s about finding somewhere that resonates with our own expression perhaps?
LikeLike
Yes, indeed, it all amounts to finding somewhere that resonates with our own expression. Unfortunately, the churches I have visited thus far seem to conform to one set standard with little variance… *sigh* Maybe I just have to do some more searching…
LikeLike
You’d be feeling homeless 😦
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… for the moment… yes
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Hi Kelly. And hi, Vincenzo, too.
I am still relatively new to WordPress, so I don’t get many notifications for the latest posts, other than from Vincenzo who posts almost daily, and a few others who post less often.
So, while eating my cabbage (and other vegetables) soup, I wanted to read, and I clicked on “Reader”, winding up here.
It has been interesting reading your discussion about “church”.
I put “church” in quotations, for I believe that the church is the believers. The way it has become institutionalized is not something that seems proper to me, according to my understanding of Scripture.
I have finished my soup now, though, so am out of time to say much more. Just please know that your conversation was appreciated to this one reader at least, and I suspect that maybe we are on a similar wavelength, the three of us, as far as our hearts for the body of Christ.
LikeLike
PS: Matthew 18:20
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
I am sure the Lord knew the internet would someday be a method of gathering via communication, so this probably counts right here, too. I do wonder.
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Thanks Steeny, for jumping into the convo – the more the merrier 😀
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I’ve done this more times than not, and I’m still learning how to deal with it.
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Me too brave.
I read this precious little book by Kim McMillen called ‘When I loved myself enough’ (I buy up copies when I find them to give away). In this book she said ‘When I loved myself enough – I learned to grieve for the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.’
And another page says ‘ When I loved myself enough – I learned to stop what I am doing, even for a moment, and comfort the part of me that is sacred.’ I LOVE this book!
LikeLike
Well, then, I’m getting that book!
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I hope you can find it! It’s an Australian book, and I’ve found it hard to find. The publisher is PAN (pan Macmillan Australia) ISBN 0 330 36312 3
I really hope this helps – because it is a book worthy of being read.
LikeLike
Looks like there are copies available on Amazon.ca for around $2.50 each.
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/offer-listing/0283073373/ref=tmm_hrd_new_olp_sr/186-5217072-0532856?ie=UTF8&condition=new
Not sure where you are located, if this is of any help.
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Thanks so much Steeny! Yay!
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Does blogging count as not silencing and suppressing? Blogging about it is my main outlet:
http://holysheepdip.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/how-do-i-stop-the-music/
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Hi Steeny. That’s a sad post 😦
Yeah, I think a lot of us blog for that purpose.
Why do you stop yourself from writing music? Art is a great way to deal with pain, I believe, because it gives it a purpose – life is hard enough without feeling like it has some purpose. Being able to turn the crap into gold 😉
Often artists do feel life deeply.
I was just sharing with ‘bravesmartbold’ in the previous comment, about a very special little book and some of the wisdom within it. I hope you will read what I quoted from it – and I hope it touches you the same way that it touched me.
And thanks for sharing this post on your blog. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh! I just saw this reply now. I don’t recall having seen a notification to let me know about it. Maybe I failed to check the “notify me of followup comments” box.
I write many things down, but sometimes the depression is so deep, I don’t even want to write. And for me, it’s got to be pretty bad to get to that point, as I live to write.
LikeLike
I got your comments in my inbox, Kelly. Glad you got a laugh, and thanks for deleting all my messed-up attempts at posting a reply and a link.
On another note, I’m wondering if you’ve been getting a lot of spam on this post, as I’ve gotten quite a bit where I re-blogged it. Here I wrote about it:
http://holysheepdip.wordpress.com/2013/01/26/spam-anyone/comment-page-1/#comment-183
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Hi Steeny. I just checked out my spam queue, and there’s none related to ‘Shut down’. I got a bit of a giggle reading through some of them – you’ve got admire some of their approaches 🙂
LikeLike
I could prolly go through your site forever. These are great insights. Your language is simple–yet weighty. Reminds me of the Tao de Ching a little–but less esoteric.
LikeLike
Wow! Thank you – that is quite a compliment!
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This is certainly true! It takes courage to let it bleed out, though…
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It sure does Alarna. It’s a tough gig being human!
Sometimes life can hurt at the most inappropriate, inconvenient, time. That’s when we sometimes need to make a ‘date’ with ourselves later; to feel.
I had this weird experience once, that has changed things for me since. I thought I had a strategy for when those unexplainable, powerful, overwhelming, emotions visit. I would journal, or write an aphorism – basically, confront it. This time though, I ‘sat’ with it. I didn’t name it, I didn’t head talk through it – I just ‘felt’ it. The most surprising thing happened – the emotions… dissipated.
And I thought to myself ‘I have been running from this ‘thing’ for how many years now?!’
LikeLike
Wow. That’s has power. I remember reading recently on a blog about meditation, and how it can at first have the effect of making you feel quite ill at easy physically. The advice was to just acknowledge the pain until it goes away. There’s seems to be some sense to that…
LikeLike
… that’s nice; ‘acknowledge the pain until it goes away’.
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